A blog about my photos, my artwork, quotations, ideas, collections, passions, England, authors, handwork of all kinds, rusty bits, buffalo, and architectural detail...for starters. And the occasional rant.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I Shop at Fat Lady Stores

I hate it when someone says I have such a pretty face.  What they really mean is "You've got a really pretty face for someone with such a lardy ass".     - Sex & Chocolate

These are some things that really bother me about being fat.  And just for the record, I am not pleasingly plump, circumferentially challenged, or modestly overweight.  I have been all of those things at some point in my life, but right now I am fat.  There are mirrors in my house – I am fat.

* I once had a sister-in-law who would stop in the middle of a sentence rather than use the word “fat” when talking to me, as though she would be insulting me just by using the word in any context.  That really bothered me.

*Fat male comedians who make brutal jokes about fat women – but never fat men - I am pretty sure they have mirrors in their houses too.

* Fat people who are never seen eating at parties.  Who exactly do they think they are fooling?

*Plus-size clothing manufacturers who seem to think that because you have gotten fatter, you must also have gotten taller.  This results in necklines that hang off your shoulders and sleeves 5” longer than your arms when all you need is something that goes around your lardy ass.

If you assume that fat people are either stupid or lazy, or possibly both – go read someone else’s blog.  But be careful out there, keep it to yourself.  You’d be surprised how many people have dear relatives and loved ones who are fat, smart, and hardworking.  They probably won’t say anything to your face, but they’ll never really forgive you either.

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